Second blog EVER.
No, I did not prioritize my day today. I got the kids to school. I spent time with my paternal grandmother. I bought potato salad for my cousin's funeral luncheon.
OK, I can't imagine what tomorrow will be like. I have buried friends too soon, relatives who were at an age that was "acceptable"??? Does that make sense? One who was totally and completely heartbreaking (my m-i-l). But now Natalie. Sweet, mischievious, troubled Nat. She is my baby sister's age. We spent time together when we were young. Now, I am trying not to think I should have spent more time with her as an adult. I should have called her up. I had no idea. I was in the middle of four kids.....is this an excuse? Did I miss some sign from God? I did NOT understand what she was doing or going through. Had I....I don't know what I would have done. As I said before, our family comes in all shapes, sizes, and lifestyles.....within the same generation......from the well off to those on government assistance. From happily married to abused and divorced. How did this happen to us? I think it happens, with so many in a family. It shouldn't be.
My grandparents were the most loving, giving, faithful people. I guess God taking Grandpa Hunter home at I think 53, as it seems many Hunter men passed early, threw everyone into their own personal hell. I know this from losing my mother-in-law 5 years ago at 61. It breaks a family like nothing else. Now the faithful family of 9 has become a mixed up family of 60. Wait...minus Grandma, Jan 27, 09 and now Natalie. 58 of us....from 2 devout Catholics. Now we are maybe 35% Catholic, lucky if 75% of us attend church. And Natalie overdoses on heroin. ????????????????????????
OK. As I said, tomorrow is going to be entirely new to me. I have never buried a family member younger than me. I can hear her laugh, I can see her crying for our grandmother. Tomorrow we cry for her.
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